Sometimes, you do not have a choice of the people who surround you on a daily basis. If you have a job, you are pretty much in a status quo relative to your co-workers. And, as anyone with a dual diagnosis knows, co-workers can say and do some of the awful things. Despicable is probably a more accurate description. It goes far beyond just water-cooler talk or coffee-room chitchat.
When you are being virtually ostracized by the rest of the office, you start to feel less than valuable. Before long, your work is affected. You miss assignments, bungle tasks, forget due dates, get overstressed, mired in a mixture of conflicting emotions. The boss starts to notice, which is often not in a good way. This downward cycle has to be stopped, and here is how you can do it.
What you need to do is figure out if there is anyone in your workplace that is in your corner. Those that are not – well, they are the ones you need to steer clear of. For one thing, they do not understand what is going on with you. They probably never will.
First of all, ignorance is the main reason why people cast aspersions at others. This is true in almost every situation, but even more so when it comes to dual diagnosis. It would be bad enough if people just gossiped about the office alcoholic, but when the individual in question has a co-occurring mental health problem – such as post-traumatic-stress-disorder (PTSD), depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), or others – ignorance adds up to a totality of – you guessed it – pretty repulsive comments and behavior by thoughtless others.
Think of the employees you interact with every day. How did they talk and act in your presence before you went for treatment for dual diagnosis? Are they any more or less friendly and helpful now that you are back to work? Has their demeanor to your face changed dramatically in the intervening time? Have you heard, or has it gotten back to you, that one or another individual has repeatedly cut you down, sabotaged your projects, taken credit for your accomplishments, angled for your job – or to get you fired or demoted?
One word of caution here. Do not tell everything to everyone – whether it is at the office, among friends, or people you just met. Sure, you need support, but you will not get it from people who just do not have it in them.
When you are deciding who is in your corner and who is not, take the long view. If someone has repeatedly stabbed you in the back (verbally, not literally), they are likely not going to change. Do not invest your time and energy worrying about what they say and do.
Concentrate instead on solidifying your relationship with those who have integrity, do what they say and say what they do. These are the individuals who can be counted on to perform work duties and interact with you on a professional basis. They may never be friends or confidants, but your work life will be much more tolerable. One more thing, people with dual diagnosis problems are protected under federal and state laws.
